Who invented that word anyway: Talking.
It’s when you’re not just friends but you’re not really in an exclusive relationship. You’re interested in each other but you’re not official. You’re just stuck somewhere in the middle. You’re talking about being together. You’re talking about becoming exclusive. But you’re just not there yet.
I really give the man that invented this stage much props because it has stopped women all over the world from asking the question they all dread: “Where is this relationship going?”. We start to worry less because it gives us the illusion that the relationship is progressing. You speak everyday. He takes you out occasionally. He calls you terms of endearment: my love, babe, boo. Maybe you’ve even met the family. It looks like a relationship. It sounds like a relationship. But it’s not a relationship. You’re just stuck in limbo.
Limbo. Or what I like to call “The Grey Area”. Right where he wants you.
The Grey Area gives him access to you AND full access to any other girl of his choosing. It calms his guilty conscience as he reminds himself that technically he’s still single. And he’s correct. He has every right to get into a relationship with another woman and you have no right to get upset because you were just “talking”. It wasn’t exclusive. Even though he whispered all these sweet nothings to you, he wasn’t claiming you. And technically speaking, he’s not cheating. Genius. It’s how a guy commits without committing. The perfect way to have your cake and eat it too.
We underestimate these men, ladies. We do.
The problem with talking is that while the guy hasn’t fully committed we are already fully committed. It’s the nature of a woman. That’s why this stage is so dangerous for us. We begin to treat him like the boyfriend, or the fiance, or the husband and that hinders us from seeing other guys that may actually be interested in us. He blocks us from another guy that actually knows what he wants- not one that is still deciding and takes us along for the ride. There have been a few times I have said no to a guy because I was simply “talking” to another guy. As a matter a fact, there was a guy who was ready, hands down ready to marry me and I said no because I was too invested in this guy that I was just talking to. You keep reminding yourself that “We’re just talking” but somehow your emotions translate that into “We are together”. But. You’re not. You’re just talking about being together. And the funny thing is, that’s usually as far as it goes.
It’s okay girl, we’ve all been there. It’s time to break out of that talking phase. Don’t let him test drive you. Don’t let him keep you in this holding cell until he figures out what he wants to do with you.
It’s either he commits 100% or he’s friendzoned until he’s ready to commit. A guy that really wants to be with you doesn’t have to talk to you first before he can make that decision. He just knows.
Take The Grey Area out of your relationship.